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March 15th, 2007
March 14th, 2007
March 13th, 2007
March 12th, 2007
08:14 pm - Renewal Forms
So with the advent of Spring I have been receiving various mail concerning renewing contracts from the past year. The first was for my apartment lease. It's still on the table so to speak. Should I stay or should I go you know? Where would I go anyhow? A fellow can't run forver, right? At least not on a few hundred dollars... It's the same old song and dance my friends. It's half a dozen one way and six the other. Sometimes you feel damned if you do and damned if you don't. It's like being stuck between a rock and a hard spot. Oh shut the fuck up would you?! The second was from MAD Classics and it pretty much summed up my whole existence of late. Here's a brief excerpt written by Robyn Wayne:
By subscribing to MAD Classics in the first place, you've already shown the world that you have poor judgement. (My stepmother actually got me the subscription, which is beside the point, but shows she knows me better than I thought...) But it is only by re-subscribing that you can truly prove that you have failed to learn from your mistakes! (I may need to borrow 24 dollars. Anyone want to go in halvsies?)
There is nothing we value more than a reader with no standards. That is why we're prepared to make you the following deal: Renew NOW and we guarantee you uninterrupted dumbness! You won't miss a single issue.
So go ahead. Debase yourself!
(I haven't received any renewal proposals from work or from the state for some peculiar reason...)
The third time I saw Blazing Saddles I understood I was beholding a masterpiece. The first two times I was too young or too drunk.
Anyhow, when it gets a little warmer I'm looking for a swimming partner.
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March 8th, 2007
February 27th, 2007
04:38 pm - Last Five Days.
You wouldn't fucking believe me if I told you!...
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February 5th, 2007
03:24 pm
I worked three hours in the kitchen this morning plating up food and calling out orders whilst simultaneously trying to entertain fellow employees suffering the Monday morning doldrums. (Busy work helps ignore an unhealthy physical disposition.) I was sporting a brown and burnt orange outfit and it made me feel better in general. On the bus I occupied my mind with thoughts of where to eat. Early this morning I felt grateful to be able to grocery shop tonight without worrying if the store would be bombed...(Like recently in Iraq.) My refrigirator is full of homemade leftovers, but I didn't want to go there for fear of the crumbs and possible likelyhood of a disrupting nap. I chose a place downtown advertising "homemade Italian". After some inane attempt at conversation with the cashier that was gazing dumbly at a soap opera on the TV overhead, I tipped her a dollar and went to the restroom to wash my hands. They had chipped ice! And Pepsi to boot. My plate of Chicken Sinatra arrived shortly thereafter. It seemed to come out quickly for what I assumed to be a baked dish...The chicken was a strange sort of thin patty cut, but tasty no less. Resting on top was a piece of eggplant, a piece of ham and topped with a mozzerela cheese. It came with a side of spaghetti. The tomato sauce was very good and the pasta piping hot. (What does 'piping' mean anyhow? Something to do with water plumbing? It sounds really gay. Whoever came up with that should stick a piece of cactus in their underwear and have a seat.) The chicken wasn't so hot, but I eat a lot of food at room temperature so I didn't send it back. When you send food back to the kitchen you're a ding a ling because now you have nothing to eat and must wait longer and you've probably pissed someone off in the process. (There are exceptions of course, rats and the like.) It's just that I have it out for fussy eaters. Fuck you, enjoy that shit you fucking cocksucker motherfucker! Go cry about something of consequence why don't you, asshole. There are people all over the world that will go to bed hungry tonight and you got a little more pink in your steak than you wanted, tough shit. The rolls there were good as well. They were also at room temp, but it worked well for them. Tearing the bread apart revealed the perfect texture for retrieving ("Sopping up" as some heathen where I work would say. Ew, I'm going to puke.) the delicious white wine sauce. No one asked me how the food was, so I debated telling the two Mexican dudes that worked there that were sitting directly beside me who were also haveing lunch, but I said fuck it. Oh well, there's more but I have to go back to work now.
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January 26th, 2007
03:48 pm - I Ain't Lyin' This is a True Story.
I swung through the revolving glass door at the downtown office conglomerate to eat at the Taco Bell in the food court. (I don't think there is really any such thing as an 'enchirito', but I order them no less.) The dining area was virtually vacant. All the office workers were grabbing one last Starbuck's coffee and wishing each other a good weekend. A short Mexican woman was languidly mopping the floor without expression. After experiencing a small waft of panic when discovering there was no plastic ware in the sack, I turned to go grab one and saw that the metal fence was already three quarters down! I quickly used my powers of punk rock and manuevered to the Pizza Hut next door for a plastic fork. If there hadn't been one, I would've used my fingers I suppose, can't let that enchirito get cold. This is a desert.
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"I don't envision a very long life for myself." (There's a meaningful pause.) "I've kind of designed it that way." In: Be Here To Love Me (Palm Pictures). "Well, many of the songs, they aren't sad, they're hopeless." — Townes Van Zandt, after being asked why he only wrote sad songs. --- As I was typing, an African American man with a single gold tooth in front approached me from the right and asked me to type out some insurance form for him to receive money for a car wreck he had a while back. "I don't know you and you don't know me, but..." I tried to explain that all he needed to do was probably fill out the form in his hand and mail it off. I don't like fucking with insurance companies. I don't mind helping, but the short exchange wasn't very clear and my time was dwindling.
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I secretly put on some coke bottle glasses at work to lighten the mood. The bartender exclaims "I hope you're not making fun of people who wear glasses!" (He does not wear any by the way. Perhaps he was protecting his clinetele.) "Sure, that's exactly what I'm trying to do." I respond. "I'm about this close to being offended." He says and gestures the inch pinch with his thumb and forefinger. "But they're my brother's." I say holding up the boy scout's promise. I go into the kitchen cursing "I don't like being censored. It makes me angry." Next time I see him I say abruptly "Punk rock is about being open minded." He says "So is Phil Collins." Who happens to be playing on the Muzac crap. I shoot a gun sign at him and say "You're right." Although I suspect he doesn't know in what way I mean. I coin him "The Most Easily Offended Punk Rocker I Ever Met". One of his friends at the bar is wearing a cap that says "Like a Horse" on it. I question him in the kitchen as to the meaning of the phrase. He says "I'm not explaining that to you." I retort "As a man of smaller persuasion, I am offended by that!" I tell the dude at the bar I like his hat, that it could have variable interpretations. "It could refer to your strength. Or to you needing to use the restroom. Or maybe the size of your sleeze hopper." He says "Or it could be my last name. Which is 'Pinto'" "You don't happen to have a sister do you?" I ask. "Yeah, Marcela." I used to work with her at a noodle house here in town a few years back. I always thought that a funny last name. She tried to grab my crotch while we were working and I told her she broke it. Now days I have matured and when someone looks at my crotch I say "Move along, there is nothing to see here." There's a bunch o' gay wads with bad lines in the world.
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I saw Last Tango in Paris a few days back. It rules you pig fuckers! You'll never see butter the same way again. I'm not lying.
---Will return time is up---
This will truly be a long weekend and I hope it never ends because Monday holds an uncertain multitude of unpleasantries.
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January 16th, 2007
02:53 pm
As I layed in the bathtub this morning late for work watching the steam fill the room, it occured to me once again that my life isn't going exactly how I want it to. Of course that was followed by the question "Whose is?" I suppose it's just a matter of getting as close as possible to the idea. Until the direction changes of course. I'm currently studying the basics of electricity. It runs in my blood. I rewarmed some chili I made day before yesterday, tastilicious, lascivious. We had a gay ass meeting at work yesterday. It was scheduled during my shift and somehow that was my fault. Poor scheduling and lack of preparation really can bring a man asunder. I work for a tyrant piece of steaming cow waste. (I'll go toe to toe with you on an I.Q. test any day of the week bitch! But you wouldn't out of strict insecurity. That's why he takes cheap shots! Uh oh Procrastination has left me at the bottom of a pile steaming responsibilty that I really don't want to fool with. But if I don't, more trouble will surredly ensue. Fuck me running, in circles, whatever.
out of time BRB
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January 11th, 2007
05:53 pm - Chromatose
Current Location: Hand Basket
Current Music: c.2007BSP
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January 10th, 2007
02:10 pm - What's Up Disquieted Coconuts?
Extreme lethargy. Feathers from comforter spread about. Layers of vinyl tile. Bits of crumbs litter outskirts of boxsprings. Tendrils rise from the glass cylinder. Evil people order. Trouble in the future inevitable. Human nature doesn't change for the law. The lying game is perpetuated. The scarf is tied around my head to keep ears warm and provide guard from predators. Mace in left pocket of Members Only jacket. Do you want to join my club, the O.A.C.? Water drips from ceiling leaving mold in cracks. My pet spider left me for lower ground. Success success success does it matter? Late bills and prying landlord lackeys. Old yellow and decrepid stove rusts on the balcony. Coffee from Hawaii presented by building owner as praise for great tenancy in low rent cinder block cell on the verge. Grocery store coupons flutter in the foyer by the broken baby car seat. Co-workers try to eat up your time as last ditch effort for control to compensate for jealousy and misery in being stuck. I eat the clown blood for energy. I need to wake up early tomorrow to "do the most good", for the state...It's a three month lag time spent semi-sick with aching lung. As I grow surprisingly older, the past seems to warrant greater importance, yet I feel compelled to consider it less.
c.2007BSP
Current Location: Harvey
Current Music: BeeGees
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December 28th, 2006
10:09 pm - Slip In To Oblivion Section #8
"What's wrong with you?" I've been asked this question by various people many times over the years. No comment. (There are also the "You think you're so cool." "You should really try harder." "I thought you were smarter than that." and "What are you talking about?")
The job has become an excercise in vicious heckling survival. Telling people to fuck off isn't on the menu today so I have to improvise constantly. No comment. You dream off telling your badger of a boss to kiss your ass, but then again it probably wouldn't be worth the acknowledgment...Some sorry people are constantly laying bait hoping that that very scenario will happen. It' s a horrible kind of jealousy that runs rampant in this world. It's not my fault you're a Lame-O Jerk Wad. I'll never be "strictly business". Don't care to...Keep the material coming there chief.
Only to piss a dirty on a late appointment rehash thus adding insult to injury. MacGuyver has become a part of my life and I never even met him. There is now an ever increasing line of people in this town that 1) Claim that I owe them money 2) Want to kick me in the nuts or 3) Both of these plus a see free show.
"Why did you take a header into the shitter again?"
Thanks and have you a good day OK!!!
Time is running away.
TBC.
Current Music: COWS
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November 25th, 2006
05:09 am - When The Tables Turn
I'm having Bar-B-Que with my mom, step dad, brother, niece and nephew for Thanksgiving tomorrow.
This whole Micheal Richards fiasco has really made my week.
On Thanksgiving day I had a piece of bone in ham wrapped in a roll with mustard. It was great fuckin' ham man!
Later that night, one of the neighbor's brought some turkey and mashed potatoes by. I mixed that in a skillet with six pieces of canned ham, a couple of eggs and some salsa.
Some other things have happened lately as well.
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November 10th, 2006
November 8th, 2006
November 2nd, 2006
12:29 am - Morning Song
My days off are vacuums. I have little if any contact with real people (sans almost getting jumped a couple of nights back) and am content to oversleep and savor the silence of my empty apartment. Until thoughts of work return. Or the overgrown branch swipes the tin awning and either picks a rusty door or fingernail on a chalkboard to impersonate. Then the daily sirens start up and acorns start falling on my roof along with the various items the local kids have decided to start throwing. There may also be accompaniment via the guy that rakes gravel off the parkinglot with a shovel. Let us not forget the man with the truck who possibly owns the world's most annoying car alarm. It makes a rapid succession of three loud horn blasts. This is the encore to the worker's 5:45am horn request to let his fellow workers know that he there to pick him up for the job. (And this is not the whole picture, but two minutes is not enough time to continue.) When the refrigirator's hum kicks in, it is like sweet relief of the highest order.
Current Mood: crocked
Current Music: Burzum-Aske
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October 24th, 2006
12:03 am - I Got a Watch w/ a Lighter Built Into It
I been driving myself nuts again. I heard the ZZ Top song 'Jesus Just Left Chicago' today. There's a part where he goes "Hey uh hey" which is not unlike Fat Albert. Well, there's some cheesy 80's song with the same phrase. It's maybe Thompson Twins or Missing Persons or Human League or some shit like that. Any help would be appreciated. This is the kind of trivial pursuit that makes me want to pee in my shoe and throw it at the radio.
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October 23rd, 2006
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pintolimo's journal